Monday, August 11, 2014

The girl who cried miscarriage

Over the years I have participated in a number of internet forums related to getting pregnant.  I started with waiting to try, because I am a planner and needed to do everything right.  I moved to trying to conceive, then to ttc 6+ months, and finally into the infertility and ivf boards and blogs.  I'd guess that around 98% of those who I "met"  through those forms have been understanding, compassionate, and real.  I don't quite understand the others.  Most of the other 2% seem in it because they want the drama. The rest are just mean spirited.

The last medicated cycle I did was an IUI about 9 months ago.  I was part of an infertility/iui forum and had started a thread about my cycle.  After I posted my bfn, a girl who had about the same timing as I did used my thread to announce that her first ever clomid/iui cycle had failed and that she was utterly devastated.  

The next day, she started her own thread about how devastated she was because she was miscarrying.  I called her out on it, but no one else did.   It just screamed bs to me.  Either don't dig up sympathy for a failed cycle that isn't over, or don't falsely cry miscarriage when af shows, just because you don't want it to be true or you want extra sympathy.  At least one of those posts was written purely to drum up sympathy and attention.  

I  haven't been back to that site in about 8 months, but have thought of the story above twice now in 3 days. The other day, I somehow came across a link to that girl's blog.   I noticed inconsistencies just from reading her about me and the two most recent posts.  She lists more miscarriages in her about me paragraph than she does in her post from a week ago.  I could understand if it were the other way around.  The few other posts that I read also confirmed my drama queen perception.  She says other things that are obviously wrong to anyone who's ever been pregnant and had early ultrasounds or who is able to execute a simple google search.   

The more recent reason I thought of this person and her fabrications because of what I am facing at work.  While my principal has now told me that she won't make me move classrooms, she did hint that she wants me to teach the 2nd/3rd grade split that we are expecting to have.  I know under normal circumstances, I'd be able to handle a split, but if this cycle works out, I'll be leaving the school year at least two months early. I'm concerned about sub plans for a split if I have a ton of Dr. appts, as I did last time.  I don't think the principal would want a long term sub in a split, nor do I think the parents would be happy about that.  I teach in a highly affluent area, with really demanding parents. We could never afford to buy a house in the district I teach in-- I'll always be commuting!  Apparently, the more money you have, the more you feel like you can control your child's school/teacher.  Anyway, my situation is less than ideal for the added stress and prep for teaching two grade levels simultaneously.  

I'm not going to know the outcome of this cycle by the time school starts.  I'm likely to hear about my assignment in the next few days while it seems like forever until I'll know if I'm pregnant.  Should I try to be vague and say that there is a good chance that I'll need a long term sub for the end of the year?  Do I not say anything and hope for the best?  If this cycle doesn't pan out, and we have embryos to freeze, we'll jump right into a FET, so I will again be missing at least a month of the school year.  

One option is to tell my grade-level team and hope that one of them volunteers for the split as a favor to me, but I know one of the three wont do it.  The other has a lot of other responsibilities at the school, but mastering a split would look good on her resume, and she wants to get into administration.  The third teammate(s) are in a 80/20 job share, which I think makes it that much more difficult to put them in the split.  It's just such a mess, timing wise!  At least we were able to move everything back so that the transfer wasn't the first day I have to be back at work!  

Let's hope that we get so many families registering this week and that the splits fill to be full straight grade classes and none of this is an issue.  Again, I'm a planner.  I need to anticipate all the possible scenarios and prepare myself for the worst.  What would you do?

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